In memory of my son Kevin....

When we loose someone it hits us hard.
It was a monday afternoon, I prepared my son's bath and laughed with him. I told myself several times he is not his usual self .. But never in my life I would have guessed it was his last hours... I turned away from him - was it a second a minute no telling - he screamed - i turned around - he was white and a gurgle came out of his mouth - i picked him up. Kevin i said... but no answer - i started to panic.. oh no.. I'm all alone .. I run downstairs with my little boy in my arms and called 911 - 3 times i dialed that number and no one answered... My heart sank - i felt so helpless - please God help me...I run outside, across the street with my son in my arms and called the neighbors... the dog barked at me.. I was so desperate.. my baby gave me one more sound - i could scream no.. please do not leave me.. Kevin.. Finally the neighbors sons came out and i begged them... please help me, help my baby - I do not know what is happening..they drove me to the hospital ..Kevin did not move ... i run into the hospital and screamed please save my baby ... please.. the put me and Kevin in a room and started to "work" on him.. chest, mouth to mouth,
shots - nothing i prayed and prayed - please please safe my child ... after 1 1/2h they declared my son dead... the heart surgery he had.. broke .. it was suppose to last a lifetime...

I would like to share with you a poem the compassionte friends gave me when my son died:
"Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show
Don't worry about making me cry
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing,
I feel it will take a lifetime."

God bless all of you !